What If I Believe You Now?
by Ravendor Gryffinclaw
Summary: Songfic to Flyleaf's Circle off of the album Memento Mori. Arya reflects back upon the last battle, and how she affected Eragon's fate. Character death.


**What If I Believe You Now?**

I remember. I remember all to well. I wish I could forget

_Circle encircles the earth_

_Chance and choice break his heart_

_His innocent arm moves to save me and I, I am spared_

I had been fighting in Galbatorix's castle. As I rounded a corner I had run at full speed right into the evil king. Dazed, and already weak from all the magic I had used, I could only watch as the bastard smirked and raised his arm to strike. Suddenly, Eragon had leapt out of nowhere and attempted to save me.

_His beautiful arm_

_Is bloody and cut off_

_His heart ripped out to show me he loved me_

He had mistimed it. Galbatorix's blade had cut off his arm. Before I could react Galbatorix had stabbed my love with such force that his heart came out of his chest. My rage imbued my magic with such power that my sword cut through the king's wards and body as if through butter.

_But I wouldn't believe him_

_He did all that he could_

_I still would not believe him_

If only I had believed him. As Roran said, "You were his only love Arya, and he died because of it."

_I left his arms empty and tied_

_Outstretched for me until he died_

_Left his arms empty and tied_

_Outstretched for me until he died_

I never acknowledged any feelings towards him. I left him hurt and empty and yet he still would not give up. He always aspired towards me; he was the most dedicated person I ever knew, the one person who truly loved me. Islanzadí only saw me as her heir and not even Fäolin would have done what Eragon did.

_No man shows greater love_

_Then when a man_

_Lays down his life_

_For his beloved_

I can't believe he died for me. I wish he hadn't. He needn't have proved his undying love to me like this, though I only believe him now, and now it is far too late. I wish… I wish he was here.

_I left his arms empty and tied_

_Outstretched for me until he died_

_Left his arms empty and tied_

_Outstretched for me until he died_

I left him alone, no one ever loved him. I was ignorant and fearful, I can never forget how I treated him, nor will I ever forgive myself. My life will never be the same; there shall always be an empty spot within me now.

_Here I am alive_

_And I don't have the right_

_He gave me the right_

_Costing him his life_

_New mercies in the morning_

I don't deserve to be sitting here in Ellesméra. My idiocy in the heat of battle cost him his life, I shall always remembered for that, and perhaps that is all I am, the ache in the hero's heart that killed him eventually.

_I believe_

_What if I believe you now_

_Could it ever change this now_

_Forgive me, believe me_

_Please come back to life_

Too late I realize that not only did Eragon love me, but I loved him as well. If only I could bring him back some how. If only I could change this. If I was not an elf I would curse my Gods, but my lack of belief denies me even that.

_I believe_

_What if I believe you now_

_Could it ever change this now_

_Forgive me, believe me_

_Please come back to life _

_Come back to my life_

Come back Eragon, I need you. Please, forgive me for what I've done, but please believe that I love you.

_I believe_

_What if I believe you now_

_Forgive me, believe me_

_Please come back to life _

Please…

"Arya?"

"What is it Vanir?"

"They will be starting soon."

"Thank you."

Vanir nodded and left. I look into the large mirror opposite my bed. The black of my dress matches my raven hair perfectly, but the red of my eyes is what I really noticed. I've barely stopped crying since Eragon died three days ago.

I slowly get up and walk down the stairs in the tree I'm living in for now. As I emerge from the tree, I see Roran. If looks could kill me, he wouldn't want to anymore. Nasuada is really the only one who doesn't hate me now. Even my own mother blames me for this tragedy. I can't really say I blame any of them.

I walk over to the funeral pyre. My love looks so peaceful now, despite the violent death I caused him. As Roran lights the pile of wood, tears fall from my eyes, and I don't know what to do in life anymore.

I don't think I ever will again.

* * *

A/N: I KNOW! Depressing and the kind of ending that will get Christopher Paolini burned at the stake! ... Just, please don't do the same to me.


End file.
